The maid of honor just puked.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
