overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
