Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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