one might say we're banned from that church
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
