jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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