How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
this will be a night to untag.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
