He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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