the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
