this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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