And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
