another moral hangover. fuck.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
