I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
