He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
