DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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