bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
