Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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