A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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