Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
