I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
