Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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