But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
