Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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