hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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