why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
