I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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