No stitches, just platelets and will power
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
