Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Randomize
