Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
