so that wasnt chicken after all
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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