Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
