i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
