Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
