I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
