fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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