also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
