...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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