And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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