My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
