Having a random hookup so left but love u
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
