Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
