All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
