just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
