I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
