This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
