Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
