you mean i was at the winter classic?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
