I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize
