hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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