No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
