youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
