Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
