The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
